Remembering

Last week Friday, my mom, dad, sister (Lora), Evan, and I drove up to Wisconsin to see my sister, Shana, graduate from college. My other sister, Megan, and her husband, Matt, flew in from their vicarage assignment in California for the big event. It was much like a little reunion. It had been nearly two years since we were all together in the same place at the same time. (Jon had to be at church for our Friend Sunday, so he was unable to come up with us...)

Friday night at 3am we were rudely woken up to the sound of my cell phone going off. That is just never a good sign. It was my sister, Megan, who was visiting her in-laws in Green Bay. She had bad news and she wanted to talk to my mom. Another not-good-sign. 

My beloved uncle and God-father, Larry Luebkemann, had just passed away an hour earlier. His family had been trying to get ahold of us for over an hour to give us the news. Jon was at the house, but my parents' phones were all dead, so he didn't hear them ringing when my Grandma called to tell him that Larry had been rushed to the hospital in St Louis. Earlier that evening he was on the phone with his liver donor's mother (he had survived a liver transplant for almost 15 years) when he suddenly didn't feel well. He was rushed to the ER in Red Bud, but much of their equipment was down, so it took a while for them to realize that his aorta had ruptured. When they realized what happened, they flew him to Barnes Jewish Hospital in St Louis for emergency surgery. By the time my aunt and her 2 sons reached the hospital, they had to run down the hallway to catch him before surgery to tell him goodbye. Turns out that if he would survive the surgery, it would only prolong his life a day or so. Shortly after opening him up for surgery, he had massive heart failure and went to be with our Lord.

It was a mixed blessing for us. A blessing that we were all together that weekend. A blessing that Jon and I were at a church who demanded that Jon take off to be with his family. A blessing that my sister and her husband were in town and could extend their return flight for no extra charge. A blessing that my sister's senior pastor took her husband's Wednesday night advent sermon so he could stay. A blessing that we all got to be together for the first time in two years...

We did stay for my sister's graduation. I'll post some pictures of that later. But it was tough. None of us slept very much that night...

The visitation was last night. It was so hard to see my family up there by my uncle's body. It brought back so many memories of when Jon and I were in their place after his brother passed away 3 1/2 years ago. Death is so much a part of life that we all must experience sooner or later. We have grown so much since Josh died. I wish I could impart my newly aquired wisdom and deeper trust in my Savior, but I know that they too must go through the pain and suffering before coming out the other side.

Today was the funeral. It's a small world--Jon's advisor from the seminary, Dr. Reed Lessing, did his field work at my aunt and uncle's church in rural Red Bud. He and my uncle had a very special relationship. He gave the most touching and powerful funeral sermon I have ever heard. He chose the verse "I have engraved you in the palm of my hands" and spoke about Larry's hands--big, open, dirty, loving, disciplining...and the hands of our Savior that are marked to be able to welcome Larry into his new heavenly home. I know that his illustration is one that will touch their hearts for a long time, especially in the coming year as they experience all of their "firsts" without Larry.

Remembering is one of the most helpful ways to recover from the fog of grief. Here are a few of my favorite "Larry Memories":

• When I was a little girl, Larry tought me how to roll and orange and stick a straw in it to drink REAL orange juice. :)
• I proudly rode on my uncle's lap for my first experience in a combine.
• I remember taking uncle Larry a picnic lunch of fried chicken after a long day of being out in the fields.
• Riding in "the gator" (and even getting to drive it a little)
• Being so afraid to cross the scary bridge to the farm and the house they now live in...
• Meeting Pedro, their donkey.
• Learning all about the "birds and the bees" from the animals on his farm (quite by accident!)
• Interacting with ostriches and emus (and learning all about that famous "ostrich dance...")
• Hearing all of his stories...and trying to decide what I should believe as truth... :)
• Helping out on the farm when I got to stay with them while my parents went on dad's business vacations during the summers.
• Being forced to help my cousin clean out the pig poop...ick!
• Going to the stock market in East St Louis with him...and having to "duck" in the car so I wouldn't see the prostitutes on the street...
• Learning all about how to butcher a pig...
• Being tickled by his beard when giving him hugs and kisses...
• His laugh...
• Spending lots of time with him after his transplant while I was working on a research paper in high school on transplantation and organ donation. I got to go to support group meetings with him to meet lots of other transplant survivors...and even the transplant surgeon!
• Seeing Uncle Larry try to climb down the bluffs at CUW when he visited me my freshman year in college...
• Teaching him how to play Wii bowling and boxing...and being so proud when he bought his own Wii! :)
• Visiting Minnehaha Falls and hiking down to the bottom...and back up again...
• Watching a special bond and deep friendship develop between him and my dad. They were such good buds!
• Seeing how God transformed his life after his 2nd "rebirth" (his transplant). He really started living life to the fullest!
• Watching him turn into "Mr. Mom" as he took on the task of babysitting his 2 yr old grandson, Isaac, so Isaac's mom could work part time teaching. He was such a trooper! :)
• Hearing all the stories about Uncle Larry and Dr. Lessing...from both perspectives. :)

I'm praying for them this Christmas, praying that God would surround them with love and support to make it through together through remembering, and praying that they would see these tiny baby hands that suffered, died, and rose again so Larry could live in peace and health for ever.